FINALLY a university administration doing something about the scourge of chalk on OSU's walkways!
As an OSU alum, for many long years I trekked across campus, my eyes singed and scoured by the constant chalky reflection of university event and student group meeting invites. It was unbearable!
So gratified by this development am I that today I'm founding the "Thank You OSU for Banning Chalk" organization to support President Carter and the university administration against any attacks on their bold initiative by shills like Rachel Coyle.
I intend to be interviewed by The Lantern to present a rousing defense of the chalk ban. Suppose someone were to write something controversial, in direct violation of our great Ohio Senate Bill 1 Sec. 3345.0217. (A)?!
We will next pursue the destruction of department bulletin boards, and book burnings. Let's also have the Governor deploy National Guard troops on campus, that's never gone wrong in Ohio.
It occurs to me that a large, spontaneous gathering of students chalking pro-free-speech messages on The Oval would be very hard to police.
As I would never advocate the violation of any university policy, I sincerely hope no group of students would take up such an initiative by distributing chalk and collecting phone numbers, sending mass texts to coordinate such writing at unpredictable times. That kind of activity could make a mockery of this university administration's out-of-touch edicts, and - I shudder - could go so far as to *normalize* free speech on campus!
Why, just THINK if between classes a message were sent out: "In exactly 2 minutes at 11:56am, if you have chalk write a pro-free-speech message. If you don't have chalk, crouch down to tie your shoe."
Within minutes an entire campus could be *polluted* with the free public expression of students. We couldn't bear it!
It is comforting to know that no student could purchase, say, a "chalk holder" and affix it to their shoe, thus making the writing of "NO CHALK BAN" or "OSU UNBAN CHALK" around campus all too difficult to detect.
The damage of a single act of First Amendment protected free speech on campus would be incalculable, and even worse, such brazen acts of defiance could spread!
FINALLY a university administration doing something about the scourge of chalk on OSU's walkways!
As an OSU alum, for many long years I trekked across campus, my eyes singed and scoured by the constant chalky reflection of university event and student group meeting invites. It was unbearable!
So gratified by this development am I that today I'm founding the "Thank You OSU for Banning Chalk" organization to support President Carter and the university administration against any attacks on their bold initiative by shills like Rachel Coyle.
I intend to be interviewed by The Lantern to present a rousing defense of the chalk ban. Suppose someone were to write something controversial, in direct violation of our great Ohio Senate Bill 1 Sec. 3345.0217. (A)?!
We will next pursue the destruction of department bulletin boards, and book burnings. Let's also have the Governor deploy National Guard troops on campus, that's never gone wrong in Ohio.
They’re going to have a lot of fun with this in Ann Arbor.
Awesome post!
Did you turn into The Onion??? UGH. I mean...SERIOUSLY????
It occurs to me that a large, spontaneous gathering of students chalking pro-free-speech messages on The Oval would be very hard to police.
As I would never advocate the violation of any university policy, I sincerely hope no group of students would take up such an initiative by distributing chalk and collecting phone numbers, sending mass texts to coordinate such writing at unpredictable times. That kind of activity could make a mockery of this university administration's out-of-touch edicts, and - I shudder - could go so far as to *normalize* free speech on campus!
Why, just THINK if between classes a message were sent out: "In exactly 2 minutes at 11:56am, if you have chalk write a pro-free-speech message. If you don't have chalk, crouch down to tie your shoe."
Within minutes an entire campus could be *polluted* with the free public expression of students. We couldn't bear it!
It is comforting to know that no student could purchase, say, a "chalk holder" and affix it to their shoe, thus making the writing of "NO CHALK BAN" or "OSU UNBAN CHALK" around campus all too difficult to detect.
The damage of a single act of First Amendment protected free speech on campus would be incalculable, and even worse, such brazen acts of defiance could spread!
You’re awesome!